I have been fortunate to have many friends and family members who have experienced pregnancy. And, inevitably, in the conversation leading up to their expected due date, I ask if I may share a piece of advice.

That advice is this: It's okay to not love your baby right away.

I always get a blank look, coupled with a brief moment of silence, followed by sentiments similar to "nobody has told me that yet."

But think through what we're subconsciously taught about the birthing experience through movies, television, the news, and social media. Right after a baby is born, the doctor or midwife hands the newborn over to the birthing individual who nestles their baby into their arms. Their face is awash with a certain glow of undeniable and immeasurable love. The bond is instant and intense. Think about the birthing scenes from Look Who's Talking or Knocked Up. Think about the pictures that your friends and family (maybe even yourself) post right after a birth. Everywhere we go, we're led to believe that the bond between birthing individual and baby is immediate and infinite.

For some, that is the case. That first moment when their newborn is laid on their chest or in their arms mimics the story portrayed to use in movies. However, for some new parents, the love and bond between parent and child, like any new relationship, takes time.

My own journey was similar. After three long years of struggling with fertility challenges, I was ready to welcome our first son onto my chest, skin-to-skin, and look longingly into his little eyes. I mistakenly thought that our first moment would be my Kirstie Alley moment.

So what happened in reality? I was scared out of my mind. I looked at this tiny human that had wondrously made it to 37 weeks in my belly and thought to myself, "Oh my, things are about to get real."